I recently sent you an email sharing what it’s like to “become a parent to your parent.” 

My mom’s health is currently deteriorating, and I shared with you what it’s been like to support her through this difficult time. Many of you replied to that email. 

I want to thank all who responded wishing me and my family well. It really meant the world to me.

Sadly, many of you have shared similar stories of what you’re going through or what you’ve already been through. 

I’ve found that what has really served me well, and what has gotten me through these past few weeks, has been the powerful advice of a friend.

She said, “you have to be grateful in the moment for what your mom has.”

What a powerful statement. And one that’s right in line with what I teach. 

We have to look above and beyond the current conditions and circumstances and find a place of gratitude in the moment.

It’s not easy to override the comparison game; comparing where she is in her mental state to where she was, or where I wish her to be, but that truly is the only and best option.

... And of course, when isn’t gratitude the perfect answer!?

They say raising kids is hard and no doubt it is, especially in today’s world. Raising parents seems to be equally as hard, but it can be just as rewarding if we can break free from the comparison game and move toward gratitude.

If you’re going through something similar right now, just know that there are people who love and care for you and would want to help, even if it means just listening to what you are going through.

I’m blessed to be part of several wonderful communities where I can find support. I pray you have a community to turn to. If not, head over the Empowered Living Community main page and join in. You’ll find some of the best people on the planet there!

>> www.facebook.com/empoweredlivingcommunity

Before I go, I want to leave you with a few action steps that will help you truly build your level of gratitude, and help you become more present. 

...Because like I said earlier, that’s really what it’s all about.

Step 1) Find the good and positive in the everyday moments, and harvest it. Even appreciating the smallest of things can make that major shift in your energy. 

Step 2) Thank God for the gift of life. Truly, where there is life there is hope. Hope leads to faith. You were blessed with another day of life. Don’t take it for granted.

Step 3) Manage your expectations. Don’t spend time focusing on imagined worst case scenarios. Accept the way things are, and set small goals and areas of focus where you can foster and nurture hope. 

I hope these steps will help you on your journey. Just remember that we’re all in this together.

Wow! I just have to say, if you’re one of those people like me who is truly a workaholic (lol), taking time off for yourself is both a blessing and a curse.

And I say that while laughing to myself because the “curse” side of it is really just my own creation.

The fact is, we all need rest, we all need to rejuvenate in order to bring forward all that we’ve been created to bring forward in our lives.

We can’t go full speed on empty for too long without having a crash.

And it was just recently that I realized I was getting pretty close to running on empty myself, and I really needed to slow down.

So, Holly and I decided that we’re going to clear my calendar and actually rest for a week.

No calls! No meetings! Just time to unwind and simply be.

My assistant, Megan, so lovingly put in my calendar a big “X” across all of the days this week, and at the top of each day she wrote “self-love day.”

And it’s so true… if you’ve been running hard and running long, you need to remember to be kind to yourself. To give yourself the physical, mental, and even spiritual break that you know you need.

Really, it’s in harmony with the law of rhythm if you think about it.

There’s an ebb and a flow to everything in the universe. There’s ups and downs. The tide comes in and the tide goes out.

…There’s a time for full speed, and there’s a time for pausing. So, the “curse” side of this is that it’s actually really hard for me to slow down.

And there’s a part of me that doesn’t like doing so.

I think it’s that part of me that was programmed at a young age, and has stayed with me for so long, because I grew up poor and had to work so hard to establish my own financial security.

It’s like there’s this fear in the back of my mind that if I stop, something’s going to crumble, something’s going to fall apart, and I’ll lose what I’ve created.

But again, I just have to remind myself that it’s actually in harmony with the laws of creation for me to slow down and to take some time to do so, as I said before - to rest and recuperate.

So, just know that here I am, doing my best to relax. It’s been five days now, and I think I’m doing pretty good.

...But here I’m still writing this blog (lol).

That’s my cue to sign off.

I’ll be honest, the last few months have been rather challenging when it comes to certain “family” dynamics. 

A lot of you are probably a gen X like me, and you’ve reached that certain stage in life where you feel established and comfortable in your own skin.

...You feel good and you feel ready for the second half of your life.

But then, something I never even thought about until just the last couple years is this whole question of, “what about mom?” - What do you do when you have to become a parent to your parent? 

I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I thought I would share just a little bit on my experience with this.

My mom has developed dementia and her mental health has been increasingly deteriorating. 

...Especially her memory. It’s one of those situations that you’d hear about on the news, where police find an elderly woman roaming the streets, not being able to articulate where she is, what she’s doing, or why she’s out on her own.

This just happened the other day, in fact. And other incidents have taken place, such as the one I’m about to share…

My mom stopped driving a number of years ago, but she’s had her car sitting in her garage ever since. We finally made the decision to give the car to another family member.

My mom was in full agreement that this was a good idea and that she was doing the right thing. And at the same time, it was also the first time she was giving away a more significant piece of property. 

And so, in the last couple weeks I’ve been getting phone calls from her and voice messages, telling me that somebody’s stolen her car. She’s completely distraught about it.

And then I tell her, “Remember mom, we agreed that the car would go to your grandson, and remember, I have voice messages from you telling me you’re so happy to be giving the car away, and that you knew it was the right thing to do.”

But the problem is, I can’t just say, “remember mom,” because she doesn’t remember. 

So, what do you do when you have to become a parent to your parents?

It’s certainly not an easy thing to process. I know for me personally, it’s been even more challenging from the emotional standpoint, considering the history of my upbringing. 

Some of you know my story, some of you may not, but my mother was very physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive to me and my siblings growing up.

And though I found a place of forgiveness for her in my heart and walked that journey many years ago, I’m realizing that I’m having to continue to walk that journey day in and day out, reminding myself of the forgiveness that I’ve extended to her.

So, whether it’s mom or dad or somebody else, chances are, you may find yourself in a place similar to the one I (and so many others) find myself in. 

…You’re processing how to deal with the situation, how to move forward, how to help that person to the best of your ability, without allowing yourself to be subjected to their drama. 

Whatever the case may be, I want you to know that you’re not alone. 

We all have real life to deal with. And when real life shows up, especially with its toughest challenges, having just one or two people in your inner circle who can provide words of encouragement (to help you move through the challenge), will do wonders for your own mental and emotional well-being. 

And if you don’t have someone like that in your close family or in the friends around you, look inside the Empowered Living community, because we’re all here on purpose for a purpose to grow and live life to the fullest. And we’re here for each other.